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In the backdrop of what should be exciting and fun professional gatherings within the mortgage industry, an insidious presence lurks – harassment. Sexual harassment, common assault, sexual assault. It’s not the side dish anyone expects with their turkey lunch, yet it persists, casting a shadow over our events.
No longer can we ignore the uncomfortable truths or sweep them under the rug. The days of turning a blind eye to criminal offenses are over. It’s time to confront the uncomfortable, to challenge the status quo.
Have you noticed the subtle shifts in event invitations? The reminders to behave, the offer of safe spaces, the discreet posters urging you to “ask for Angela” if things go awry? These are not mere niceties; they are lifelines in an environment tainted by fear and vulnerability.
Can you believe we, as experienced professionals need all that? We do and we actually need more. We can’t just talk a good story. We need to back it up. We need to ask ourselves if we truly grasp the gravity of the situation. Do we understand the impact on those who experience harassment?
The default response from many victims is to blame themselves; Did I say too much? Did I invite this behaviour somehow? Am I reading too much into this? Am I just making a fuss? This tendency to internalise blame is thanks to abhorrent behaviour going mostly unchecked for decades. Victims often feel uncomfortable raising concerns.
For many victims, the perpetrator’s identity can exacerbate the dilemma around whether to speak up or remain silent. We’ve seen from the wider financial services sector that poor behaviour can come from anyone: it could be a revered industry “legend,” whose accolades shield them from scrutiny; perhaps it’s the top advisor to a lending institution, whose financial contributions overshadow their transgressions. The identity of the perpetrator could even extend to a firm’s CEO.
The fear of disrupting relationships looms large. Upsetting someone vital to the event’s hosts, risking exclusion from future gatherings, or facing unjust blame. Speaking out carries its own set of risks – jeopardising chances for industry recognition, sidelining opportunities for participation, or being labelled as controversial or troublesome. The desire for safety and inclusion clashes with the fear of retribution, creating a precarious balance where silence often seems the safest option.
The aftermath of harassment is profound – it festers in the depths of the soul, gnawing away at one’s sense of security and self-worth. But the repercussions extend beyond the individual, permeating the very fabric of our industry’s culture. Yet, amidst the darkness, there are beacons of hope – hosts and witnesses who refuse to be bystanders, who offer solace and support to those in need. Their actions speak volumes, but they cannot shoulder the burden alone. It’s time for collective action, for systemic change.
In the hours after the inciting incident that sparked this blog, my thoughts turned to the perpetrator. Does he recall the events? Has anyone confronted him since? Is this an isolated incident, a regrettable misstep, or a recurring pattern of behaviour? The spectrum of possibilities is as wide as it is troubling.
Perhaps he grapples with remorse and horror, confronted by the consequences of his actions. The reassurance that he won’t be invited next year offers little solace amidst the uncertainty. What about the events on the horizon? Will he grace them with his presence, mingling with your staff, clients, and colleagues? Is it acceptable to extend such a welcome to someone whose actions have cast a shadow over the integrity of our industry events?
The temptation to bury the discomfort, to carry on with business as usual, is palpable. After all, mortgages are the lifeblood of our profession, and there are pressing matters to attend to. Yet, deep down, the unease persists, refusing to be ignored. The weight of silence grows heavier with each passing moment. It’s a burden too heavy to bear alone. It’s a call to action, a demand for accountability, and a commitment to uphold the principles of integrity and respect that underpin our profession.
So, what comes next? It’s about accountability, about holding perpetrators accountable for their actions. It’s about dismantling the structures of power that enable such behaviour to thrive unchecked. It’s about creating robust support systems for victims, empowering them to reclaim their agency and their voices.
For those who find themselves at this crossroads, know that you are not alone. Your voice matters, your experiences are valid, and your courage in confronting injustice is commendable. Together, let us navigate the murky waters of uncertainty and forge a path toward a future where safety, dignity, and accountability reign supreme.
To those who have endured the scourge of harassment, know that you are not alone. Your stories matter, your voices matter. Together, we can rewrite the narrative, reclaim our spaces, and forge a future where harassment is not just condemned but eradicated.
Let us not avert our gaze from the discomfort, but rather lean into it as a catalyst for change. Let us stand shoulder to shoulder, united in our commitment to foster environments where safety, respect, and dignity reign supreme. The time for action is now, and together we will chart a course toward a brighter, more inclusive future for all.
